Tuesday, October 27, 2009


Open mouth, insert foot...my most famous last words were "I don't think we could possibly cut anything else out of our lives."  Well, God laughed so hard he cried...I know that, because it rained (so hard that I wanted to cry)!!!

Remember my gas guzzling tank that died in the middle of car line?  You can go back and read my words, and I quote "Unfortunately, I'm so upside down in my giant gas guzzler, that I'm stuck with it."  The confession...I think I may have been tricking myself into that thought just so I could hold onto something from my former life, even though my whole being wanted to just throw all things of that life to the dogs.  I'm not going to spend too much time dwelling on the fact that any "normal" person may find that statement a little split personality, so we'll just call it spiritual warfare and move on.

Our neighbor had been trying to spare her driveway the pain of holding an extra vehicle and was selling her old minivan.  Whew...that word is still hard for me to say...minivan, minivan...maybe a little easier to write than say.  A little background...for all you Minivan Mamas, I'm that obnoxious girl that has the nerve to swear she wouldn't be caught dead driving a minivan.  I have spent the last six years of motherhood declaring that hell would have to freeze over before I would even consider driving a minivan.  My reasoning...who knows.  Honestly, it's one of those things that could take weeks of soul searching and end up forgetting what in the world it was in the first place that I was searching for anyways.

On with the story...seeing how the hubby had been taking one for the team and sporting his not so desirable, could possibly breakdown tomorrow, replacement for Mr. Smoky, we thought having a "back-up" might keep us from reliving the one car family experience.  So, the minvan made it's way into our garage.  Now, let me tell you about our garage.  It lives a double life.  Like most garages, it houses the necessary outdoor equipment like lawn mowers, grills and rakes.  Then, there's some spill over from inside the house like boxes of Christmas lights, unsold leftovers from garage sales, and such.  By day, it lives the life of a mild-mannered, typical garage.  By night, it looks more like a super warehouse housing lumber, tools, kitchen sinks and more.  Being that the hubby lives in the world of construction, we have to have a place to store all the supplies that are piled in the back of his truck all day.  So, let me tell you, this minivan was so crammed into those four walls, that getting in and out of the house through the garage was quite the task (don't ask why I can't just use the front door...let's just say me and the key had a wrestlin' match, and I won).  Anyways...every morning, with three kids in single file toe (one in front, one behind and one on the hip),  we'd all squeeeeeeze by the minivan and make our way out to the driveway.

Each time I sucked in my gut to barely make my way past my nemesis, I could feel myself warming up to it little by little (or maybe I was just getting heated up from all the stomach exercises).  Until one day...it was like an uncontrollable urge.  I just had to see what was so darn horrible about sitting my pretty, little hiney in the driver's seat of a minivan.  So, I went inside, got the keys and hopped in.  I don't know what I was expecting...maybe, I thought the steering wheel would deliver electric shocks straight to my frontal lobe that would void my mind of all reasoning (as if I hadn't already accomplished that on my own).   Who knows...but, it seriously wasn't that bad.

So...once again, I ate crow and, apparently, hell froze over (missed the headlines on that one didn't you?) or maybe the steering wheel did disable my logic.  Either way, I called up the hubby and delivered the most shocking message he had ever heard (I was beginning to make a habit of this, but this even topped the clothesline call).  I was going to find a new home for my gas guzzler and drive the minivan.    Yep, you heard right...I am a full fledged, card carrying, Minivan Mama!!!!   Apparently, God was going easy on me this time and this adventure killed two birds with one stone.  Whew...one less trial!!  Not only is it a completely stripped down (bye-bye electric anything) minivan, but it's what I call finely aged with 9 years of driving experience...a big experience in humbling for me, AND it comes with great perks...better gas mileage, cheaper insurance and NO CAR PAYMENT!!!!!!!!!  

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